Working Toward Community Accountability

by Nadiah Mohajir

Imagine that there is someone you deeply love and respect. Maybe they’re a celebrity. Maybe they’re a religious leader or your spiritual teacher. Maybe you know them. Maybe you studied with them, learned from them, were in company with them. Maybe you are the person you are today, because of them. 

Now imagine you hear this person has done harm. Maybe they said something racist or were hateful toward women. Or worse, maybe they abused someone, emotionally, physically, spiritually, or sexually. Your world is shattered because this is not the person you know and it is certainly not the experience you have of them. 

So you do what instinctively many of us would do. You defend them. You share your stories of this person doing good, of being kind, loving, and compassionate. Of all the times this person wasn’t racist or misogynist. Or abusive. You share stories of being healed by this person, of your life being changed by this person.

All of this may be true. And it may also be true that this person did the harm they are being called out for. While it is difficult and hurtful to hear about a loved one doing harm, and that it is in conflict with what you know of them, it does not mean it didn’t happen or could not have happened. In fact, it may even be likely it did. As I have been exploring harm, systems of oppression, and community accountability, I’ve learned that that these conversations can, and usually do, go very wrong. The key to changing how these conversations can happen begins first with deep self reflection and understanding of the following lessons from those working in the field of community accountability: 

1. We all have internalized systemic oppression to some degree. White supremacy is real. Patriarchy is real. Misogyny is real. Racism is real. In fact, more than it being real, it is ingrained. In all of us. Every.single.one.of.us. It’s how we’ve been socialized to see and interact with the world. And it requires active practice to first become aware of how we’ve internalized these oppressions and they manifest in our every day lives, our interactions, our leadership. Second, we have to learn how to then actively interrupt and disrupt when those internalized habits show up. It is an active practice. One that can be exhausting. One where you will make mistakes. Over and over and over again. But one that we all need to commit to.
2. People who do good can also do harm. We live in a world that is not black and white, but rather is complex and the reality is that most people who do harm, also do good. In fact, in the case of many abusers, doing good is often their disguise, so that they can continue to do harm. Of course, the magnitude of the harm differs with each individual, and the impact of harm is on a spectrum. Because we live in a culture that is quick to shame, it is easier to create a world of binaries: heroes and monsters, good guys vs bad guys, us vs them. This can blur the spectrum and makes is harder to have difficult conversations that hold people accountable in a way that is fair and just.
3. Violence and oppression are on a spectrum. While rape is not the same as catcalling, and accountability looks different for both, the practice of catcalling contributes to a larger system of culture and attitudes that perpetuate sexual violence to occur. This is especially salient when thinking about prevention and working toward addressing the root causes that lead to sexual violence. 
4. Always center those who have been harmed. When you hear a story of said harm, listen to those being harmed. No matter how upset or uncomfortable it makes you, listen to the stories of those whose experience of this person is different than yours. Don’t shame them. Don’t get angry at them. Just. Listen. Most of all, don’t tell them they are wrong or lying.  In fact, it is likely they are telling the truth, especially if they are speaking of sexual harm. And, then, don’t insist on telling your story of how this person has helped you or changed your life. That is adding to the harm they’ve already experienced. It can be re-traumatizing. It can be isolating. It is one of the reasons why many leave the communities they once were a part of. 
5. Call out culture is not effective and we need to hold those in positions of leadership accountable for the harm they commit. Call out culture does not change behavior. It creates divisiveness, and a binary as mentioned above, and in the case of an abuser, only strengthens their resolve to double down on their words or their actions. That being said, it’s important to hold those in positions of leadership and celebrity accountable for the harms they commit. Because of their status, position in the communities they are leading, and their ability to influence attitudes and culture, we cannot let the harm they do slide. Brilliant minds like Mariame Kaba, Shira Hassan, and Adrienne Maree Brown have been exploring what community accountability can look like without having to rely on call out culture or law enforcement for decades now, and it is our responsibility to learn from that work. It involves messy, complicated, difficult, uncomfortable conversations that can take months, or even years, to facilitate. But the results are there. Behaviors and attitudes can change, relationships may be repaired, trust can be deepened, and most importantly, future harm can be prevented.

Sitting with the reality that those who we love can also do harm is both uncomfortable and unnerving. It can challenge people to question whether their experience of this person was true in the first place, or it can compel people to defend their loved ones in ignorance and further perpetuate harm. These are hard truths to face, but if we want to build communities that are transparent, safe, accountable, and compassionate, we must do the self work and reflection needed to engage in addressing these truths head on.

Helpful Websites:

Transform Harm: A virtual resource of articles, talks, and other helpful information where you can learn more about topics such as community accountability, transformative justice, and supporting survivors.

Move to End Violence Racial Equity & Liberation Webinar Series: A webinar series to begin learning how to integrate liberation and equity into personal and organizational leadership practices.

Adrienne Maree Brown: A blog by the author of Emergent Strategy, that explores topics on liberation and equity, community accountability, and transformative justice.